I never thought of being a Yoga teacher one day and walking on path of Yoga, but life sometimes will give you a joke, break your self limitation and make you grow. 

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I was not an active person and loved reading and painting when I was a teenager. My body was stiff, so Yoga never was my favourite. I still remembered the first time I was in a Yoga class, I felt so struggled even just raising and holding my arm up. Because of this, I never felt Yoga was my way when I met my teacher Prasad in 2006. At that moment of my life, I graduated and worked as a physiotherapist, but I actually wanted to be a designer. I was so suffered for not having what I wanted and emotionally very unstable. So I searched for different methods to help myself. By chance, I started doing Osho meditation in one yoga studio. And it’s the first time I met my teacher Prasad as I attended his yoga workshop in HK. I have attended a few more of his workshops in the following few years, but was still not interested in yoga. I was so into creative art therapy at that time. I painted, I danced, I cried. I just wanted to be an artist. I complained life for not giving what I wanted. It was until I hurt my back very badly at work, then my attitude towards life started to change. I got very severe sciatica and needed to rest at home for 6 weeks. I mostly rested on bed for the first 2 weeks, it was so damn pain when I sat up or walked. When I felt better, I picked up a book on the shelf and started to read it. This book is called “Ask and it is given”. Some points in this book really inspired me and made me reflected on myself. I started knowing that it’s my way of thinking made me suffered in life, rather than the actual events happening. I strongly believed in my “misfortune” - a story that I created to justify myself. This incident helped to wake me up a bit and stop to blame life. In order to heal my physical body, I started to do things more practical. I joined an improvisational dance training and moved my body again. I gradually felt more comfortable about my body and gained some confidence on moving and stretching it . Slowly I started to practice yoga, as my body needed more systemic training. 

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It is very interesting that, when I started practising Yoga in 2012, my passion towards dance and art slowly faded away, and my emotion gradually became better too. My first 200 hours Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) with Prasad was on 2013, and 500 hours AYTT on 2015. My dream of becoming an artist was finally gone, life has guided me back to do what I have to do - being a yoga teacher and therapist, helping others to reconnect with their body and heal their body. 

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Many people understand Yoga as a form of exercise. In the past, I also understood Yoga in this way. However, as I started to know more about Yoga, my understanding changes. Actually it is a path for self transformation, transforming your limiting mindsets and finally realising the true self within. In my experience, I find it so true. Yoga is not only about what you do physically in shape and form, it’s about what you think in your mind. Or better to say, not only what you think, but whether you can calm down your mind and be more settled within. This journey is really precious for me, I know it is still on-going till the very end of my life, or even life after life; until one day I finally realise the truth within. 

 

瑜伽與修行，是我從沒想過會踏上的一條路，但是命運總會有自己安排，幫助你打破自我限制，另你成長。我以前對瑜伽的理解其實是與一般人相同，覺得瑜伽是挺神秘、古怪的，而且那些人總是會做著一些難度很高的動作；所以對於我這個根骨僵硬、愛靜又缺運動的人來，瑜伽與我的感覺真的很遠。因此，當我在2006年遇到我師父Prasad時，我從沒想過自己餘生都會在瑜伽這條路上努力。

 

2006年是我開始夢醒面對現實的一年。物理治療畢業後，有幸找到相關工作，但成為時裝設計師的夢卻一直在心中，所以那時的我工餘便修讀設計，參加比賽，帶著天真，希望有一天夢想成真；而2006年的我便因種種現實理由，經歷夢醒的階段。那時的我，因得不到想要的東西而自我感覺痛苦，情緒上非常不穩定，所以我開始尋找各種方法來幫助自己。偶然地，我在一間瑜伽中心裡開始練習奧修靜心；同年他們邀請Prasad 來港，這就是我第一次參加Prasad老師的瑜伽工作坊。在接下來的數年，我都參加了他其他的工作坊，但當年的我此終醉心藝術創作，對瑜伽仍然不感興趣。曾經有一段挺長的時間，藝術創作便是我的自我療癒。我畫畫，我跳舞，我哭；情緒釋放了，但心中仍有很多怨恨，直到我在工作中扭傷腰背，我對生命的態度才開始有所改變。

 

這次工傷引發嚴重坐骨神經痛，我需要在家休息六星期。嚴重的腰痛另我頭兩星期大部分時間都在床上渡過。當我接受了治療後腰痛開始減輕時，我隨意撿起書架上的一本書，開始閱讀起來。這本書是Esther Hicks  的“Ask and it is Given”，中文翻譯為「有求必應」。這本書看似與那一些“心想事成“的書差不多，但書中的不少觀點都確實啟發了我，另我願意反省自己。我開始明白自己的一思一行是另我受苦的元兇，而不是實際發生的所謂事情。我心懷怨恨，總覺得自己的家庭狀況是人生伴腳石，堅信自己的“不幸”，慢慢我深信了這個故事，而看不到其他可能性。這次工傷，另我有機會停下來，好好檢視自己，不再去重複一直以來的思維模式。此外，這次腰傷有一定後遺症，所以為了照顧好自己的身體，我開始去做運動。當時的我參加了一個即興舞蹈訓練班，課堂中我慢慢開始去移動及伸展我的身體。因為之前坐骨神經痛的關係，我有一段時間要很小心活動，因為一不小心可能又會受傷，但即興舞蹈讓我重拾對自己身體活動的信心，我也逐漸感到身體比之前舒適。因為即興舞蹈的關係，我感覺到我身體需要多一點的鍛練，所以在2012年左右的時間，我正式開始練習瑜伽。

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有趣的是，當我開始練習瑜伽後，我對舞蹈和藝術的熱情逐漸消失，而我的情緒也隨著對生命多了接受性也慢慢穩定下來。2013年，我上了Prasad老師的200小時瑜伽老師培訓(YTT)，而2015年上了500小時的 AYTT。慢慢地，我的思維有了很大改善，渴望成為藝術家的夢消失了，而生命帶我重回我應該要做的事。我結果成為了一名瑜伽老師，也重拾治療別人的熱誠，我重建了自己的身心，也希望將這一份對身心的了解能幫助其他人重建自己的身心。

 

許多人單純理解瑜伽為一種運動；過去我也以為瑜伽就只是那些伸展動作或常人做不到的高難度動作。但是隨著我開始真正認識瑜伽，我明白到瑜伽跟本是一條「自我轉化」的修行途徑；藉著轉化局限性思維模式，平靜頭腦，最終我們能了然內在真我。瑜伽亦不只是體位法去做做動作，也不只是呼吸法去調順呼吸；對身體下工夫只是初階，跟著還有我們的頭腦思想，最終是體會真我。我知道這段瑜伽旅程漫長，會持續到我生命的盡頭，甚至是死後的生生世世。雖然漫長又充滿不確定性，但我相信有一天我會意識到自己內在的真相。